"one and only" Adele

So if anyone is still checking this page out, i'm sorry. My social life has picked up since i got my license so i haven't been home very often. It sounds like i'm bragging haha but i'm not trying to. I've just become so much more happy with life in general now that i can get out. Nothing against my home, because i love it there. But i love love love getting out of there. This picture of here is my first embroidery adventure. I hope to keep it up. I love the look of embroidered stuff.

School is less than a month away and i am so nervous but so excited all at the same time. I'm taking four classes this term and they are all mostly art classes. Now you may sya to yourself "Why would she be nervous for art classes?" well my answer(s) is this; what if i burn out on creativity? or i get the worst case of artist block? Also i have never taken a real art class before. Yeah i took a freshamn "art" class in high school, but that was high school.

I just need to put my nervousness to the side and focus on the excitement. I am so excited to meet a group of fun creative people that enjoy the journey of creating as much as i do. That's probably the part i look forward to the most.

OH! i got financial aid. I am so freakin blessed. I got a Pell grant. I was a wee bit worried about just getting loans and having to pay those back but with my pell grant i don't have to pay it back! i am so happy.

Anyways, i hope your school adventures this year are just as fun as mine. And i fyou aren't doing school this year, i hope your adventures in life treat you beautifully!

"Home"- Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

My life has been so crazy lately. I decided to apply to a graphic design program at Chemeketa (Visual Communications) and got accepted! So coming this fall i will be learning how to use all the cool programs for illustrating and learning all the awesome skills for a graphic design career. At least i hope so haha This program will last about 3 years and i can't wait for it. Oh and let me tell you something awesome, I was so excited about finding this program because it made my heart soar. I researched the website of the program and i felt this inspiration and motivation to get into this program, it was crazy. It felt so right. And when i felt that readiness and just knowing i would go crazy without making into it, i had this feeling of confidence. The only way i could describe it was that God gave me this passion and he set me on that path. I had such a great confidence in this path that I wasn't even considering going another way. I don't know if that all makes sense but I just felt great. When i got accepted my best friends, nikki and jill were there and they screamed but i honestly just felt right. I was shocked but another part of me kind of knew it would always be that way. I don't know haha

Also, we're moving back into town! I am soooo extremely happy. We'll finally be back in civilization. We're moving to Keizer with Theresa and Nikki into a town house. It's going to be tough getting used to paying rent but it's so worth it to me.

I am taking one class this summer so i have some free time but mostly i'm working and going to school. I love it. I'm really looking forward to the end part of this summer because I'll be driving, i'll be done with school and one of my favorite people will be able to escape his quarantine haha I can't wait to be out of school in august so i can go on fun adventures with my friends.

So i hope everyone is doing good this summer, mine has bee crazy/good/fun/relaxing haha just like it should be.

This is really long, but hey, I'm o.k. with it:)

Hey guys. I know it's been too long since an update, I shall explain. In a a few words, my life has been in transition. At the start of this...uhh...story you may think "transition? This is worse than transition." But wait, it gets better. On mother's day my mom and i moved out of our house and went to live with my grandparents in Lyons. My parents are going through a divorce. My heart breaks for the sadness of my wonderful dad, and my heart soars for the difference this has made for my mom. I don't know how i can have both of those feelings at the same time, about the same situation, but i do. Sometimes it still hits me like a pile of bricks that my parents aren't together anymore, but i have come to accept this change. I have two wonderful parents. This decision wasn't easy for either of them. This decision doesn't reflect on their ability to love, or be loved or their ability to be great parents. Because they are the greatest parents out there.

So, I live in Lyons now. Lyons is 15 minutes outside of Stayton and Stayton is about 30 minutes from Salem. At first the drive to town seemed like the longest drive to make nearly everyday, but honestly, it's growing on me. I have time to talk to my mom, I can drive in silence and relax or whatever. Now, in Lyons my mom and i live in a fifth wheel. It's like a trailer but i don't like saying that because it's way nicer than that. We both have our own space and we've both got out own responsibilities. I've realized that my mom and i make a really good team. I actually really enjoy living out here. We live by a river, i can here the birds, and the sky is beautiful out here. I feel so blessed to be able to be so near my grandparents. I get to hang out with them whenever i want. I love it.

Now just because i love my new place doesn't mean i don't miss my home in west salem. I do. My dad made sure i still had a room there. He's been so cool about all this. I work for my dad so i get to see him at least 3 days a week, or more. And i can go hang out at his place whenever i feel like it. It's weird to think i could have both of these places to live but still feel like they're both my home.

This whole experience has brought on a lot of change in my self. I am becoming more independent. I have to admit, i get a little embarrassed about that because i mean i am 19 years old, i should be more independent now...right? Well i told my mom how i was feeling about that and she said "Katie, don't be embarrassed. Everyone has their own timeline, and this is yours." I love her. she always has the greatest nuggets of insight. So i'm helping pay for more of my insurance and stuff around the house. I am also FINALLY going to take my drivers test in a couple weeks.

Another thing that's changed is my path at school. I have been saying for a year now that i wanted to be a speech therapist's assistant. I kept telling people what i wanted to do, but i wasn't excited about it. I know that lack of excitement is a dumb reason to change but that isn't the only reason. Whenever i would tell people about the speech therapy thing i always felt a strange feeling like "yep, i'm doing this and it fits but it doesn't feel completely right". So i've been chugging along with prerequisites and such. Then one day my mom says "hey i saw the mac lab with the visual communication students. Have you looked into that?" I told her no. It wasn't realistic to be a graphic design major...was it? I kept telling myself it wouldn't work, until it was finally out of my head. Then about a week and a half ago she mentioned it again, saying there was a big article about the visual communications program in the school newspaper. So i gave in and looked at the website. I spent about an hour and a half on that site just looking at all the possibilities of this program. I felt this sudden and huge need to do this. To research this possibility. To make this possible. I felt like i had this spark in me go off like i had found something great and i needed to tell everyone what i had discovered. I felt like if i didn't pursue this i would regret it for...well probably forever. That's how strongly i feel about this. I think this is where i need to be. I need to be around some cool artsy people, make more friends, experience new things and do my passion; art.

So as of right now in my life, i am working on a portfolio and an essay to turn in with my application to the visual communications program at Chemeketa. As you can probably tell, I am so excited about it.

This summer i have to take a silly reading class so i can apply but i'm ok with it. The class is only two days a week, so i can still have summertime adventures doing art with my friends and going to drive ins and staying up too late and bonfires and s'mores and camp outs. I may be turning 20 this year but i am still gonna be a little childish this summer. I have a long list of crafty fun art projects to do this summer. I probably won't have time to finish them all but i'll make a dent in the list:)

I am really excited about this "transition" stage in my life. It has been a really tough two years but honestly, i feel like i'm coming out of a fog and finding myself on this clear path. The kind of path that has your few close dear friends cheering you on with encouragement and love. I think i have a great thing coming my way. So pray i get in this program because it would enrich my life so so much. I love you guys.

"Kids" MGMT (i absolutely love Pandora for giving me this song today)

It's been too long since i posted and i know that. I'm finally going to be doing something fun this weekend. I'm going to the beach with my mom and Nikki and Theresa. I am so excited. We're leaving tonight.

As of right now i am putting a bunch of anchor tattoos that i found on my phone. I have decided (with some pushing of a friend o' mine) to design my tattoo. "what tattoo?" you may ask. Well a while back i told Nikki I had always wanted an anchor tattoo, even though there was no big meaning behind it. I have always had this thought in my mind that if something doesn't have a big meaning for you, you probably shouldn't tattoo it on your body.

Well, when i told Nikki i wanted that tattoo she said she did too. A few weeks passed. Then last night i saw an anchor tattoo online randomly and a beautiful thought came to mind "We could get matching anchor tattoos!". Now let me tell you about another thought i've always had. I have always thought "i will never get a matching tattoo with someone unless they are going to be a part of my life forever."

But Nikki has been a part of my life for so long now she can't NOT be in my life. Plus we've been through so much in our long friendship. So i told her we should get matching anchor tattoos and she screamed "YES!" haha so we dove into looking for great anchor tattoos. She wants a pretty, frilly one with sparrows and stars, but what's new? I want either a simple one or a super realistic one with barnacles on it haha so who knows. But i think i might design mine. I'm excited about it.

I need to get out of here and go. Just go on a road trip or go do something reckless or something risky or crazy but it has to be fun. I just don't want to be here as much as i'm here. I love my family and i love being around them. But i need a break from them for more than 6 hours. I need it immensely.

My beautiful Aunt.

This time last year was the last Sunday i ever spent with my Aunt Treena. I remember we had homemade pizza, she said she loved it and ever since then we've called it Treena pizza. That was the last day i had with her out of a hospital bed. That night i went to a broadway across America thing up in Portland with a friend of mine. I don't regret deciding to go but i do regret missing out on a great afternoon with my favorite Aunt. This week is going to be a really hard week for me and my family because Thursday will be the one year mark of her passing. I've already had moments when i felt like i was going to break down and cry. I have never dreaded the coming of a week more in my life. I know i'll have to face how i'm feeling but honestly, i don't want to cry because if i start crying i feel like it wont stop. It doesn't feel like it's already been a year. Sometimes i still forget that she's gone and then it hits me like a ton of bricks that i will never see her strong smiling face or hear her gravelly voice full of attitude saying something hilarious. I miss her. I miss when she'd say something shocking and we'd all just laugh because only She could get away with saying something so shocking. I miss her humor and her strength and her faith in her family. I miss her never ending love for us and how she'd push us to be better when we were settling for less. I will never forget her love and devotion to her family. I love you Treena.

workity work or something like it

First off, i didn't make this. But i'm drawing something that looks like this on the back of an envelope. Also i just heard the coolest version of "toxic" originally by that spears lady. But this time it was by Yael Naim. look it up. awesome. I plan on going to "never say never" on friday night. I am not ashamed of my bieber fever haha Anyways i hope my buddy can go because it would be so lame without her. please don't flake out. I'm at work so i should end this post now. Peace.

My essay needs to be typed...oops!

I was laying in bed last night thinking about all the positives of having a job; I'll have more money which will lead to having enough money to pay for my own insurance, which will lead to getting my damn license, which will lead to me getting an old beater car(that i will deck out with awesomeness and name delilah) which will lead to me being more independent, which will lead to more happiness and drawing in the wild, having a car will lead to less annoyed friends that deal with the fact that i can't GO meet them at coffee, which will lead to less insecurity when it comes to making new friends, which will lead to branching out and actually making friends, which will lead to meeting cute boys, which will lead me to find the man of my dreams and live happily ever after. Wow that turned out completely different than i thought it would. I was going to go into the negatives of having this job, but why ruin the fantasy. I am excited about this job even if i miss out on some friend time. I love my father for pushing me to actually take this job. Anyways sorry there isn't a picture but i just felt like typing.

These drawings put me in a way better mood today.

This is My very first drawing of an octopus. I was laying in bed a while back ( i get my best ideas just laying there) and i thought "I have got to draw a picture of an Octopus with a french mooostachio." so i finally did and i love it. I'm not completely done with this drawing, at least i think i'm not done. But anyways i hope it turns out great.
I don't know why but i've got a thing for drawing octopuses lately. I am finding it really fun. the idea for this first drawing was to draw a few real buildings, but i failed epically at drawing an actual building ha so i decided to just draw my good old cartoony city scape. I plan on doing awesome things with this drawing.

i love the smell of old books.

Last night my mom was making lasagna, which i was so excited about, then BOOM! the oven broke. I was so terribly disappointed. I mean lasagna is one of my favorite dinners. Then she offered to get pizza. Well that's always fun but not as good as lasagna. We got the pizza and it changed my life. VEGETARIAN ARTICHOKE PIZZA! So damn good. It changed my outlook on the broken oven. Anyways i'm all over the place haha ummm nothing else to say. the end.

and so it begins.

I'm going to work tomorrow.And it begins. one of my biggest fears of starting something like a job, was that i'd miss out on fun opportunities. My grandma asked if i wanted to go to a movie tomorrow. Let me tell you, i love going to movies with my grandma. i don't know why, i just do. So i am encountering my first disappointment on the job. On the up side i guess, i get to have lunch with my dad which is cool. I just hate missing fun things. I guess this is real life...i knew i wasn't ready. but i have to tackle it somehow, might as well tackle it when there's a cool understanding boss like my dad. The main thing i'm holding onto it the fact that someday, it may be faaar in the future, but someday i will have enough money to pay for my own damn insurance so i can drive myself. I am so in need of that. Maybe I'm a late bloomer or something but it has finally hit me straight in the face that feeling of wanting and feeling a need to just go. Not because i hate where i am or the people i'm with, but because i want to be reliable and i want to be able to say "I'll be there no matter what" and actually mean it instead of just being full of hot air and good intentions. I need to be able to drive myself. I NEED it desperately. Yeah i know i'm late to the independence party but i honestly don't care. I live life by my own pace and as long as i get there, it doesn't matter how long it takes....I sound angry but i'm not. i'm just passionate i guess. anyways, i'll post tomorrow. peace.

sniff sniff go away.

So yesterday i wake up, write a posting on here, sip some coffee and then my dad calls my mom. "I need katie to work today" bleh. Another two day job where i answer phones for my dad and get a free lunch. Nope he needs an actual receptionist who can do insurance and paperwork and buy merchandise, etc. I agreed because, well he's my dad. He needs my help. So i went and got dressed for a day at work. I walk down the hall and BAM! the toilet flooded downstairs. So instead of a nice relaxing morning before work, i get to walk through poop water and soaked towels. We used all the towels in the house to soak up as much water as possible so the tiling on the floor wouldn't be ruined. The best part is that we had to turn all the water off in the house so it wound't keep overflowing. "But we have poop water all over us?!" yeah that didn't matter. Luckily my moms meticulous care for the chemicals of the hot tub saved the day. She told us we could wash our hands in the hot tube because it'll sanitize our hands. That was my morning. So much fun...not. Then i get to work and my dads old receptionist dumps EVERY possible piece of information about the job into my lap. I was completely overwhelmed. After lunch, though, she reigned in the overwhelming information and stuck with the simple details. By the end of the day i felt like i might be able to do this job.

So i drew an octopus the other night. I'll put it up soon, i just haven't taken the time to scan it. Enjoy.

Do it.

Yesterday was a good day. I kind of started in a funk or something but by the end of the day i was in a better mood. Sometimes it's ok to get mad at the people you love, It's not ok to just let it simmer and get worse.

When i finally decided to go to college and grow up i thought i'd be learning all these books smarts and that would be that. I mean i spent a year doing nothing, and i thought "Why haven't i learned anything new lately?" DUH because you were sitting at home being depressed all the time. Now that i'm out and around new people, being challenged and pushed i have learned a lot of things. I am so happy. Sometimes learning can suuuuck but honestly, that's ok. I love that i have learned how to write a semi good first essay, but i'm also glad i learned that friendships evolve, my parents aren't always right(i know, took me long enough right?), and friendships ebb and flow. I'm still getting a hold of this college thing but i love it. I don't know if this post makes sense to anyone else but me but hey, i'm ok with that.

baby steps.

Well today has been lovely. I woke up with the voice of an old lady that has been smoking for 50 years and a terribly congested chest but i fought all that crap and went job searching. Not sure if going to four places right by each other is the same as job searching but it's a lot for me. I had an epiphany last night that i was pissed off about the fact that i don't have a job and sadly i don't have my license. So i decided i would do something about it and i did. What i've done hasn't payed off yet but it's a step for me. I walked home after the "job search" and felt like i had ran 3 miles because of my damn cold, but i think i'm getting better. Anyways, today has been good and people have said "I'm proud of you" so to me today was a success. For the first time in my life i have actually felt an utter need to grow up and become something other than just nice katie with a good sense of humor and a great encourager. I still want to be all of those things but i want to be more. More accomplished and successful and well rounded. future me here i come.

Oh and this is one of my favorite people today. That person on the right, not me haha

Well what do we have here....

Haven't been on here since before my first term in college(which has only been like5 months?) Well i started a cool thing where i eve's drop at school and draw what i hear. This is one of the many drawings. This second term hasn't been as interesting as the first one but that might have something to do with the fact that i'm only taking one class, Writing. I hope i haven't lost anybody because i've been away for so long. I have to admit that i kind of gave up on this little blog when a friend of mine said "check out tumblr, It's great!" so i did and never looked back...until now. I've got lots of drawings to share so i'll be doing that soon enough. I've also got a lot to say but not sure how to say it so you'll have to bear with me as i figure out how to speak ha Anyways, i'm going to try to be on this thing more often. Enjoy.