My beautiful Aunt.

This time last year was the last Sunday i ever spent with my Aunt Treena. I remember we had homemade pizza, she said she loved it and ever since then we've called it Treena pizza. That was the last day i had with her out of a hospital bed. That night i went to a broadway across America thing up in Portland with a friend of mine. I don't regret deciding to go but i do regret missing out on a great afternoon with my favorite Aunt. This week is going to be a really hard week for me and my family because Thursday will be the one year mark of her passing. I've already had moments when i felt like i was going to break down and cry. I have never dreaded the coming of a week more in my life. I know i'll have to face how i'm feeling but honestly, i don't want to cry because if i start crying i feel like it wont stop. It doesn't feel like it's already been a year. Sometimes i still forget that she's gone and then it hits me like a ton of bricks that i will never see her strong smiling face or hear her gravelly voice full of attitude saying something hilarious. I miss her. I miss when she'd say something shocking and we'd all just laugh because only She could get away with saying something so shocking. I miss her humor and her strength and her faith in her family. I miss her never ending love for us and how she'd push us to be better when we were settling for less. I will never forget her love and devotion to her family. I love you Treena.

workity work or something like it

First off, i didn't make this. But i'm drawing something that looks like this on the back of an envelope. Also i just heard the coolest version of "toxic" originally by that spears lady. But this time it was by Yael Naim. look it up. awesome. I plan on going to "never say never" on friday night. I am not ashamed of my bieber fever haha Anyways i hope my buddy can go because it would be so lame without her. please don't flake out. I'm at work so i should end this post now. Peace.

My essay needs to be typed...oops!

I was laying in bed last night thinking about all the positives of having a job; I'll have more money which will lead to having enough money to pay for my own insurance, which will lead to getting my damn license, which will lead to me getting an old beater car(that i will deck out with awesomeness and name delilah) which will lead to me being more independent, which will lead to more happiness and drawing in the wild, having a car will lead to less annoyed friends that deal with the fact that i can't GO meet them at coffee, which will lead to less insecurity when it comes to making new friends, which will lead to branching out and actually making friends, which will lead to meeting cute boys, which will lead me to find the man of my dreams and live happily ever after. Wow that turned out completely different than i thought it would. I was going to go into the negatives of having this job, but why ruin the fantasy. I am excited about this job even if i miss out on some friend time. I love my father for pushing me to actually take this job. Anyways sorry there isn't a picture but i just felt like typing.

These drawings put me in a way better mood today.

This is My very first drawing of an octopus. I was laying in bed a while back ( i get my best ideas just laying there) and i thought "I have got to draw a picture of an Octopus with a french mooostachio." so i finally did and i love it. I'm not completely done with this drawing, at least i think i'm not done. But anyways i hope it turns out great.
I don't know why but i've got a thing for drawing octopuses lately. I am finding it really fun. the idea for this first drawing was to draw a few real buildings, but i failed epically at drawing an actual building ha so i decided to just draw my good old cartoony city scape. I plan on doing awesome things with this drawing.

i love the smell of old books.

Last night my mom was making lasagna, which i was so excited about, then BOOM! the oven broke. I was so terribly disappointed. I mean lasagna is one of my favorite dinners. Then she offered to get pizza. Well that's always fun but not as good as lasagna. We got the pizza and it changed my life. VEGETARIAN ARTICHOKE PIZZA! So damn good. It changed my outlook on the broken oven. Anyways i'm all over the place haha ummm nothing else to say. the end.

and so it begins.

I'm going to work tomorrow.And it begins. one of my biggest fears of starting something like a job, was that i'd miss out on fun opportunities. My grandma asked if i wanted to go to a movie tomorrow. Let me tell you, i love going to movies with my grandma. i don't know why, i just do. So i am encountering my first disappointment on the job. On the up side i guess, i get to have lunch with my dad which is cool. I just hate missing fun things. I guess this is real life...i knew i wasn't ready. but i have to tackle it somehow, might as well tackle it when there's a cool understanding boss like my dad. The main thing i'm holding onto it the fact that someday, it may be faaar in the future, but someday i will have enough money to pay for my own damn insurance so i can drive myself. I am so in need of that. Maybe I'm a late bloomer or something but it has finally hit me straight in the face that feeling of wanting and feeling a need to just go. Not because i hate where i am or the people i'm with, but because i want to be reliable and i want to be able to say "I'll be there no matter what" and actually mean it instead of just being full of hot air and good intentions. I need to be able to drive myself. I NEED it desperately. Yeah i know i'm late to the independence party but i honestly don't care. I live life by my own pace and as long as i get there, it doesn't matter how long it takes....I sound angry but i'm not. i'm just passionate i guess. anyways, i'll post tomorrow. peace.

sniff sniff go away.

So yesterday i wake up, write a posting on here, sip some coffee and then my dad calls my mom. "I need katie to work today" bleh. Another two day job where i answer phones for my dad and get a free lunch. Nope he needs an actual receptionist who can do insurance and paperwork and buy merchandise, etc. I agreed because, well he's my dad. He needs my help. So i went and got dressed for a day at work. I walk down the hall and BAM! the toilet flooded downstairs. So instead of a nice relaxing morning before work, i get to walk through poop water and soaked towels. We used all the towels in the house to soak up as much water as possible so the tiling on the floor wouldn't be ruined. The best part is that we had to turn all the water off in the house so it wound't keep overflowing. "But we have poop water all over us?!" yeah that didn't matter. Luckily my moms meticulous care for the chemicals of the hot tub saved the day. She told us we could wash our hands in the hot tube because it'll sanitize our hands. That was my morning. So much fun...not. Then i get to work and my dads old receptionist dumps EVERY possible piece of information about the job into my lap. I was completely overwhelmed. After lunch, though, she reigned in the overwhelming information and stuck with the simple details. By the end of the day i felt like i might be able to do this job.

So i drew an octopus the other night. I'll put it up soon, i just haven't taken the time to scan it. Enjoy.

Do it.

Yesterday was a good day. I kind of started in a funk or something but by the end of the day i was in a better mood. Sometimes it's ok to get mad at the people you love, It's not ok to just let it simmer and get worse.

When i finally decided to go to college and grow up i thought i'd be learning all these books smarts and that would be that. I mean i spent a year doing nothing, and i thought "Why haven't i learned anything new lately?" DUH because you were sitting at home being depressed all the time. Now that i'm out and around new people, being challenged and pushed i have learned a lot of things. I am so happy. Sometimes learning can suuuuck but honestly, that's ok. I love that i have learned how to write a semi good first essay, but i'm also glad i learned that friendships evolve, my parents aren't always right(i know, took me long enough right?), and friendships ebb and flow. I'm still getting a hold of this college thing but i love it. I don't know if this post makes sense to anyone else but me but hey, i'm ok with that.