and so it begins.

I'm going to work tomorrow.And it begins. one of my biggest fears of starting something like a job, was that i'd miss out on fun opportunities. My grandma asked if i wanted to go to a movie tomorrow. Let me tell you, i love going to movies with my grandma. i don't know why, i just do. So i am encountering my first disappointment on the job. On the up side i guess, i get to have lunch with my dad which is cool. I just hate missing fun things. I guess this is real life...i knew i wasn't ready. but i have to tackle it somehow, might as well tackle it when there's a cool understanding boss like my dad. The main thing i'm holding onto it the fact that someday, it may be faaar in the future, but someday i will have enough money to pay for my own damn insurance so i can drive myself. I am so in need of that. Maybe I'm a late bloomer or something but it has finally hit me straight in the face that feeling of wanting and feeling a need to just go. Not because i hate where i am or the people i'm with, but because i want to be reliable and i want to be able to say "I'll be there no matter what" and actually mean it instead of just being full of hot air and good intentions. I need to be able to drive myself. I NEED it desperately. Yeah i know i'm late to the independence party but i honestly don't care. I live life by my own pace and as long as i get there, it doesn't matter how long it takes....I sound angry but i'm not. i'm just passionate i guess. anyways, i'll post tomorrow. peace.